4 Tips To Selfcare Success
You've heard the cringey saying, "you are what you eat" followed by the mental finger wag that prompts a virtue signal of fueling your body with healthy balanced meals. Yeah, you know the one... *insert eye roll*
While this is a key component of self-care and healthy living, there is so much more that contributes to our overall health than just nutrition.
When we consciously care for ourselves intentionally it nurtures our personal needs so that we are able to show up for ourselves first, then other people and finally to fulfill the responsibilities in our lives.
But many of us were not taught self-care as children or young adults. Many of us were taught to abandon ourselves and instead serve others first. It's twisted.
If this resonates with you, I'm inviting you to dive deeper into a self-starter's guide to securing healthy self-care habits in a program I've created called the Selfcare Checklist.
The Selfcare Checklist is a program for people who:
A. Don't know what self-care is
B. Are not sure how to start self-caring and/or
C. Feel guilty about taking time to care for self, daily.
I've learned through creating this program that self-care is not selfish- it's essential to our daily vitality. Yet, none of us seem to know how to do it. I know I didn't, so I decided to go on a journey to learn how to take care of me- ALL of me. Every layer of me. Inner-child me. Mama me. Mind, Body and Soul me.
The Selfcare Checklist contains all of the tools that helped me to create a solid self-care practice for myself.
By design, the first step is to take an audit of your current state or lifestyle and through self-assessment determine an area of focus with the help of dream casting.
Where do you want to see yourself in 3 weeks, 3 months and 3 years' time? The Selfcare Checklist guides you through this.
Next, we assess our daily and weekly actions to determine actions to eliminate and new actions to swap in that are healthier habits.
This method will lead to breaking up with the unhealthy existing habits that are no longer working for you anymore or that is keeping you stuck putting yourself last.
The Selfcare Checklist also contains tips and tricks on creating more time and energy, gratitude journaling prompts and more.
I had one client decide she'd like to focus on reducing her toxic load by eliminating the chemicals in her daily lifestyle products. She decided to start with one lifestyle product, toothpaste. She sought out a cleaner alternative with my guidance and she applied the ditch and switch approach. Eventually, over time she was able to swap out 8 products for healthier versions and she continues to swap out more and more as she can.
This ditch and switch approach attached to the yearning to feel great, sleep great, hold boundaries and just be... happier, lighter every day- is a recipe for success.
The Selfcare Checklist is a resource that will guide you through the importance of self-care by illuminating these pillars of health:
and of course there, is my spin, on how this is all considered self-care sprinkled in.
The Selfcare Checklist lets your intuition guide you, it'll intuitively lean you into creating a plan unique to you. The checklist will help you illuminate goals while encouraging you to listen to your body.
I am available to guide you where you'd like me to. I am here to help! You take this as deep as you'd like to and you establish where I can support you. Some benefit from self-guided, others want to be guided through with my support.
The Selfcare Checklist encourages us to trust our body, understanding it knows what it needs- listening to it and letting intuition pull us. Selfcare in this way leads to feeling fulfilled- grounded, and safe in our skin. Not in a toxic positive way but in a "I feel healthy & strong" kind of way.
This Selfcare Checklist will show you how to implement new self-care habits while eliminating the unhealthy ones that you want to ditch fore-evaaaa.
Let's get you to the top of your daily checklist.
Let's dive further. How do we set ourselves up for success?
We Learn The Tools.
1. Use The 21/90 Rule
A popular method to build new habits is the 21/90 rule. In order to create a new habit, you must commit to your goal for 21 straight days (3 weeks).
After 21 days, this goal becomes a habit. Once you have established the habit, you must follow through for ninety days.
After 3 weeks and then for ninety days, this goal becomes a permanent lifestyle change.
So how do we use the 21/90 rule?
Starting the day off with a glass of water with lemon is a simple goal and a healthy way to start the day- the kicker here is to ask ourselves, "what if we shifted our focus onto something that improves our quality of life every single day?" After 90 days it's become a major enhancement to your health.
2. Start & End Your Day With A Positive Mindset
I like to consume personal development material- yes self-help books-HA! I've listened to podcasts, TedTalks, and the Audibles. They strangely make me feel alive- so I understand the theory.
But what I was left with was a big pile of advice and no idea how to actually apply it to simple action steps.
I found there was a big gap between theory and practice, so I started small.
As it turns out, 5-minutes are all I needed to start my day feeling consciously ready. I mean grounded and present. Listening to understand not just react. Do you know that feeling?
In fact, it was the simplest way I've found to boost a positive mindset and promote patience. Patience with self and others.
A gratitude journal entry has me skipping about with a pep in my step, a smile on my face, and a lightness in my soul.
THIS. This is self-care. The work that takes care of self.
I have yet to coach someone who says they want to feel cranky, impatient, exhausted, overwhelmed, or heavy.
Insiders Tip: Start Small. Write down one positive thing every morning.
What are you grateful for today?
What small victory did you have yesterday?
Or with your kids? (my kids are next level right now)
Maybe you put cucumber on your deli meat sandwich and feel good about it.
Or you picked a few tomatoes from your garden.
Whatever it is, write it down.
Write something down every morning for 21 days, and then continue to do that for ninety days- YES, 3 months! This is what will create the lasting habits you set out to create.
If you really want to amp up an uplifted mood, write down one more thing that you are grateful for at the end of the day.
What was something amazing that happened?
Maybe something terrible happened to you so you got vulnerable and leaned into the horrible hard feelings and came away with the lesson- or maybe the lesson is still processing...
Start and end your days with gratitude- I'm in this step right now and I promise you will see increased lightness and vivid optimism.
It unfolds when you lean into uncovering your conscience self. This is self-care. If this doesn't resonate- skip this step. Come back to it later. Or never. It's up to you. The Selfcare Checklist lets you decide.
3. Do Something That Brings You Complete Joy For (at least) 5 Minutes Every Day
As a mom to two, time is a valuable commodity. We all need a little break, a little escape, the only catch is we can't just bail on our pursuits, responsibilities, and commitments.
So find something that you love and make it a priority to work it into your day.
Five to ten minutes is all you need. Or take more because you can or because you decide you want to. This checklist is self-guided or reach out to me for some guidance.
It could be a quick phone call to your mom, watering your garden, petting your dog, journaling, sitting on your front porch with a cup of tea, spending time alone, or soaking in a warm Epsom salt bath.
Epsom Salt Recipe Below. Mix and match the essential oil for variety and to match the desired effect like calming oils to soothe and uplifting oils to feel buoyant.
Whatever it is, make time for it. Make time for it for 21 days, and then ninety more days. And while you're doing it, give it 100% of your attention. No phones (a numbing agent), no interruptions. Just soak in that feeling and enjoy... find the joy dammit.
4. Identify 3 Things That You Need To Work On In Your Life
This one is a little scary and it will feel vulnerable if you've been numbing yourself for quite some time like I have.
But just do it! Motivate yourself with a vision of the possibilities.
Pick three things or areas that you want to change in your life. You can start broad and then get specific. The Selfcare Checklist will guide you through this. Print out the workbook and get a pen on it. Use the pages to brain drop and use lots of ink!
Maybe it's your health?!
Because you typically find that you don't have the energy you need to get the things done in your day and you have found yourself relying on buckets of caffeine or other stimulants day in and day out. Can you relate?
Now to narrow this down further...
Exerting energy creates energy... feels counterintuitive eh?!
It might feel that way at first but just exercise or move your body anyway.
Keep it as simple as taking a walk down the driveway... or a 5 min stretch on a yoga mat or a 30-minute Beachfit class with Trina.
Mindful of the 21/90 rule in your peripherals- mindfully layering one by one new-to-you healthier habits.
OR maybe you decide to take a peek at nutrition. Are you fueling your body with nutrient-dense foods? Maybe this is an area of priority. It's okay to follow someone for guidance or ask for support in the areas that feel so overwhelming. I actually highly recommend finding a connection with a like-minded circle of support.
The Ripple Effect
Is a situation where an effect from an initial state can be followed outward incrementally. (Wikipedia def)
Implementing small health tweaks leads to things like getting to bed before midnight or things like not needing to pour yourself that third or fourth cup of coffee at 3 pm.
Instead, we've mindfully pivoted in other areas of our life, and now the outcome is that going to bed much earlier at night comes more natural than it use to.
The ripple effect is adding small actions over time that adds up to feeling amazing in our body... feeling content in our mind, and free to be one with the tingles that rise up from our toes that pour from the soul.
It's NOT Fight or flight or anxious feelings that can rapidly flood us- no, those nervous system responses and feelings have melted with the new tools adopted from the Selfcare Checklist.
Perhaps stress or anxiety seems, to be taking over.
Make this area the priority. Start and end your day with some meditation, affirmations, and reflection. Learn to focus on the now. Take one suggestion from the Selfcare Checklist and apply it.
Many of us also worry about our finances or the toxic chemicals in our soaps, lotions, potions and cleaning supplies. If these are areas you want to focus on, it might mean giving up your daily coffee/snack run. Or moving $5 into a savings account every day. Or swapping out that overpriced under-delivering face cream that flares the eczema patches on your skin.
Whatever your three things are, focus on one at a time. Layer each new goal into your lifestyle over time.
At the end of your 3 weeks and ninety days, move on to the next area you decide to focus on. This will allow you to accomplish your goals without feeling overwhelmed. And Honey, overwhelm never ignites action.
Anything Can Be Achieved With:
a step-by-step plan
accountability- learning to keep promises to yourself
Insiders Tip: 21 days tends to make a goal a habit and ninety days to make that habit part of your lifestyle.
Visualize where you want to be in 3 months. And remember that visualization every time you feel like quitting on yourself.
So holla If you'd benefit from support on this journey to health and happiness. Reach out to me to book a Wellness Consult.
I am right where you are... I am always a work in progress.
Plus I love what I do- I've been frolicking in the holistic wellness arena for the last decade and the best part is that I am well connected to other luminous women within a global wellness community that I can refer you to.
Empowering myself has been an experiment because I love to learn, grow and stretch myself in my journey. Then I learned how kick-ass it is to see other women empower themselves too.
Hi, I'm Melissa 👋🏻
If you hang around me long enough I will convince you that you are worth anything your heart desires. Yes, anything!
I live on an acreage on a small island on the West Coast of Canada with my husband, two boys, and animals.
I pump my tires on empowering women to make themselves a priority, and living an intentionally clean and natural lifestyle- I love to live sustainably and I like to DIY the shit out of everything.
When I was employed, I quickly learned that I disliked trading my precious time to build somebody else's dream and I wanted to be the one raising my babies at home. The essential oil industry has allowed me to build the life I want to live working from home.
You can find me on Instagram for daily tips for self-care, essential oil education, autonomy, 30-minute, and lots of laughter.
30-minute Essential Oils Made Easy Class: